he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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