Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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