Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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