Tell her she can't have a vagina
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
