Pappa wants mamma naked
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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