Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
