Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
