i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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