it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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