Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize