My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
