She is in my trunk
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my shit smells like andre
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
