Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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