i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
