I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
