After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
