No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it was like eating out sand paper
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
