she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
