Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
