You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
