You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
