So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
