like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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