Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
