ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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