Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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