I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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