I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
