Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
