So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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