Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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