What tipped you off? The sombrero?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
