Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
