Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so let's talk penis.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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