FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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