Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
