K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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