It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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