dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
