he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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