Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
