tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
