he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
