my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
