Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
