every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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