it hurts more in the daytime
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
