I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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