We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this boner is exhausting
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
