once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize