So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my shit smells like andre
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
