Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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