Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
