she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
