It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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