I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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