omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
