If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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