your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
