I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
