it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
