I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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