Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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